RED DUST ROAD by Jackie Kay

Here we go!! First blog post from my new desk and new writing chair... very exciting! :)

I read this book for the category A Memoir. This is a very beautiful and insightful book, and i am glad to have read it.

Red Dust Road is Jackie Kay's (Famous Scottish author and poet) story of how she one day realised that her parents had a different skin colour to her and that maybe there was more to her family than she first thought. This is the journey that Kay takes to track down her birth parents, her Nigerian father, and her mother from the highlands of Scotland. In this brave and honest book, Kay talks about the experience of meeting her biological parents for the first time and the excitements and disappointments she is met with along the way.

Before I say anything else, I am glad I have read this and it is a wonderful, beautiful story which illustrates the true meaning of family, as well as being an interesting insight of racial differences from a time period different to our own. The only slight issue I may have to raise about this is it is quite repetitive and I feel that this book would be just as powerful, even if were half the size.

I know this is a short one, but I'm not entirely sure what else to write other than this is a lovely book about a women trying to find herself in her family, and find out where she came from. A book I would certainly recommend to those looking for a heart warming and poignant yet fairly easy read.

THE SKIN COLLECTOR By Jeffery Deaver

Good book. Really good book. Definitely a perfect contender for the Mystery/Thriller category of the reading challenge.

Picked this one up in the supermarket on special, I'm terrible for buying books on special offer, I really am.

This is the story of Lincoln Rhyme; a paraplegic, independent criminalist and consultant to the NYPD and this time, he's got a slightly different case to solve. A perp is taking happenstance victims, sedating them, and tattooing messages on their stomachs. Only, the killer isn't using ink... after all what's the fun in that? No. This perp is tattooing with poison.

I really liked this book a lot. It is incredibly well written, twists and turns on every page; enough to keep you entertained but not so much that you get confused and lose the thread of the story. Even without the amazing writing of Jeffery Deaver, the unusual choice of murder weapon is enough to catch the eye and make this a book you're going to remember having read.

I've got to admit, that towards the end, I felt that there were places that Deaver could have ended the book and I was a little unsure as to whether i wanted to risk reading on in case he had ruined the end of the book and tried to hard to end it, but I should have had more faith in him. He delivered amazingness throughout the entire book and the ending was no exception. I

I've read so many crime novels now, that I can usually tell you did within the first few chapters, but Deaver kept me thinking and rethinking all the way through!

An excellent book, but definitely not one for the faint hearted. In fact I'm kinda glad the book hangover was minimal...

MAXIMUS AND THE GREAT EXPEDITION By Brian Ogden

So this could actually fit into a number of categories including, a book with non human characters, a book published the year I was born, a book of short stories, but I have chosen this to be read for the category of a book from my childhood.

I remember very clearly, the only thing I ever enjoyed about primary school was listening to our teacher read stories about Maximus Mouse and his friend Patrick, in assembly. They must have had every book Ogden ever released about Maximus Mouse, but despite being 19 I had to by a copy when I found it in a charity shop for 30p.

These are fabulous stories about a small mouse named Maximus who lives in the church vestry, his best friend Patrick who lives with his wife and 37 children in the Sunday school cupboard, and his other furry critter friends who live in the grounds of the church. In this particular volume of his adventures, they visit the seaside and learn how to enjoy nature and respect it at the same time, Maximus tries to fly and learns that he's better off trying to be a mouse, and together with Patrick, he climbs the church bell tower to reach the flag pole, despite his fear of heights, learning that so long as we have faith, we can do anything. These are just three of the stories in this book, but they are all equally beautiful and captivating in the way Ogden has told them.

These may have been published last century, but the messages and lessons taught through them are no less poignant today and the stories are in no way outdated. These are a definite for any parent who wants to encourage their children morally and spiritually, and even if you don't want to use the little prayers at the end of each tale, they are still amazing little independent stories. I am so glad that I got the opportunity to go back and read this. It really has made me smile, and remember the tiny glimmers of good from school.

THE METHOD By Juli Zeh

Okie dokie! Here we are with the fourth book I have read for the POPSUGAR 2015 Reading Challenge. This time I've read a book to fill the category 'A book originally written in another language'. The Method was originally written in German and the translated into English by Sally-Ann Spencer.

Mia is a scientist in the world run by The Method. Everything about this world is completely health based. Everyone is required to submit various blood tests and urine samples to The Method in an attempt to create an completely illness free human race. Things begin to get a little heated when Mia stops submitting her data. She is now technically a criminal and could be facing a fate worse than death.

Ermm.... I'm not really sure where I should start with reviewing this book. It had the weirdest effect on me, no word of a lie. I found that while reading this, I wasn't particularly hooked, I wasn't gripped to the story line, I didn't even find the book overly special or interesting, but something kept the pages turning. I'm not entirely sure what it was. It could have been the fact that I wanted to make sure it ended right, or I had a slight hint of hope that it might get a little more gripping.

I really, really liked the idea and the structure of the world that Zeh created and I think there is a lot of potential for this to have been a really good book. I felt that the relationships between characters were very confused. As a reader, on many occasions, I wasn't sure whether the writer wanted me to like a character or not.

Over all I think it was an interesting book and a good idea that maybe could have been written down better. Whether or not the German manuscript read better or not, I don't know and unfortunately as I don't speak German, I will never know. I didn't not enjoy this book but I didn't particularly enjoy it either and unfortunately I don't think I'll be reading an of this author's other books in a hurry.

As usual I don't like telling people what they can an can't read. We all have different preferences and this blog is purely my personal opinion. If the synopsis sounds like something you would like to read, go for it. It's only a short book. What have you got to lose?

THE MAZE RUNNER By James Dashner

Here we go with my second book for the 2015 POPSUGAR reading challenge, this one is heading for the category: A book by an author you've never read before, and it's true! This is the first of Dashner's novels I have ever read, and I must say that after this I wouldn't mind reading a few more.

I've got to admit that I hadn't heard about this book until I say they poster at our local cinema for the new film that recently came out last year. Then browsing through the bookshop I stumbled across a copy, (or rather thousands of copies) and I very nearly didn't buy it. I love the hunger games and when I saw the plug at the bottom about how its 'a must for fans of THE HUNGER GAMES, I was worried that I would be disappointed that it would be a non-story. Compared to the Hunger Games so that it would sell more copies but I thought What the heck and took it to the counter and paid for it.

However I now stand here with my hands held high in surrender and apology to all you Maze Runner fans out there... you were right. This book is amazing and it has indeed left me with a book hangover to such an extent, that I don't know when I'll be able to start the sequel.

Just like it says in the blurb, we begin the story just as confused as Thomas and we stay as confused as he is until starts fighting back and asking questions. From the moment the box open, and Thomas is spewed into the Glade, to the moment he falls asleep at the end, you feel everything that he feels. Basically Thomas has somehow been made to live in a huge concrete square surrounded by walls that seem to be impossibly tall. There are four 'doors', on in each wall but all that seems beyond them is black. We soon learn that the Glade, as it's more commonly known, is the centre of a giant, seemingly unsolvable maze. He is trapped in there with 50 - 60 other teenage boys and there is only one rule: Solve the maze or die. The people before Thomas arrived have been trying to solve the maze for two whole years, so why should his arrival make any difference?

Firstly, I thought that this book was incredibly well written. The idea of creating lab rat style humans is almost unthinkable and I cannot begin to think where I would have started if I were the writer of this book, but Dashner has done an incredible job of making it realistic and believable. There was not a single moment when I stepped back and said 'Whoa! this ain't real'. The author here has managed to find the perfect balance between reality and fantasy, a sometimes very difficult thing to do. As a slight aside, I love the way that each boy is nicknamed after a famous scientist, that tickled me. I loved it.

As usual I talk a little bit about my favourite character so that what I'm going to do now. Newt. Favourite character has to be Newt. He's strong, he's a leader, he's hot and I just think that if I had to be stuck in a giant hostile maze with anyone, it would be Newt. I kinda liked Chuck as well in that annoying little brother sorta way but Newt definitely had to be the one for me.

Certainly one I would recommend to all people great and small who enjoy a good book, and most definitely a book for people who think that reading is ponsey and for girls, because this book could not be further from that assumption. Give it a read, see for yourself and see if you would be strong enough to solve the maze.

THE WARD By S.L Grey

Happy new year guys! Hope you've had a good book filled year with some incredible books to recommend to people. The Ward is the first book I have read for the POPSUGAR 2015 reading challenge (Checkout the heading up top :) ), and will be filling the category of 'Book you can finish in a day'

This incredibly surreal book was recommended to be by my wonderful friend, colleague and author Rebeccah Giltrow. Having been warned about its graphic content prior to reading this, I attempted to prepare myself for the journey I was about to embark on, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING could prepare me for what lies within these pages.

We begin the story with Lisa; a cosmetic surgery addict, and Josh Farrell; a celebrity photographer who is more commonly known as Farrell. Both these people have ended up in the grimmest of all hospitals; New Hope. Neither can wait to get discharged and every time they come close, a doctor demands they stay. After they try and escape, they find themselves in separate luxury hospital suits labelled 'Client' and 'Donor' and things start to get very weird indeed.

Firstly I have to thank Rebeccah for recommending this book for me and secondly I have to warn you all! This book is not for the meek and/or faint hearted. From about page 50, reading the book gives you the same experience I would imagine you get from a really bad acid trip. Its almost hallucinogenic in places.

I really really enjoyed reading this book and am tempted to read some other books by this author. (well actually, its two writers writing together under one name, Sarah Lotz and Louis Greenberg). Other than that I'm not really sure what I should say about this book. I liked the characters, more so Lisa than Farrell. At times I really did hate Farrell and I found that I tended to side with Lisa more often than not as I found Farrell too judgemental and quick to act on things. I didn't like the way he insisted on assuming power and blamed Lisa for the choices he made. Don't get me wrong, I liked him, he was just an idiot.

This is most definitely not a book for younger readers (due to severe bad language, mild sexual references and graphic violent content), however for those experienced readers looking for something unique and different to change up their reading habits... I think you've found you're book.

I was going to say enjoy, but that doesn't seem like the right word.... more like proceed with caution and always read the fine print.

THE BEHAVIOUR OF MOTHS By Poppy Adams

This is an interesting story about an elderly woman named Virginia who has lived alone in her family mansion for nearly fifty years, when suddenly her sister Vivien decides that  she is suddenly moving back in to the house to be with her older sister. This triggers memories and feelings to surface for the first time in decades and suddenly, the truth comes to light and the prices are finally paid... but is it to many decades to late?

I gotta say that I really enjoyed reading this book and it had me hooked quite definitely. The story line was simple and relatively easy to follow. Although I normally read something a little more complex in structure, it was nice to be able to read something that didn't take too much thinking about.

I really liked the back story of the protagonist, it was something different and something that is very memorable. Its a story that stands out among the thousands of other characters in the thousands of other books in the thousands of book stores across the globe.

I thought that the use of the child surrogacy plot line was an interesting addition to the story and really added another dimension to the intercharacter relationships. Although I can help but wonder what things would have been like if the child hadn't died so young... hmmm....

The ending of the book was very very sudden and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. I kinda liked it and I also kinda didn't. It left me feeling a little bit helpless and I knew that I felt uncomfortable with the direction that the book was heading in. Ultimately I was saddened my the ending, but that doesn't make it any less of a really good book.

The only quarm I have is that the questions that Virginia asks all the way through the book don't get answered at the end of the book leaving you a little bit lost and disappointed with the lack of closure you are left with.

A good book that I would recommend to anyone who enjoys a good book that doesn't take too much concentration to read. A good book, a good good book.

LEVIATHAN By Scott Westerfeld

A good friend of mine recommended this book, but in my awful judgemental ways, I assumed that because my friend is slightly older, that this book would also be a more adult book. So you can imagine my pleasant surprise when I opened the cover to start reading a teen/young adult book.

The world is at war, however this world war is nothing like we would remember it. The Germans and their allies, have developed their Clanker machinery. Tanks, and walkers and mobile military units! Meanwhile, the Brits and their allies have created a vast army of Darwinist fabricated beings. Living warships and ferocious warriors. What would ever happen if these two sides were ever to meet? Well when Austrian Prince Alek has to go on the run after his royal parents are killed, and Deryn disguises herself as a boy to join the British air force, the two meet and things get interesting.

I really enjoyed reading both sides of this story, but the storyline that stood out to me the most was Deryn's. Who doesn't love a young girl disguising herself to achieve her dreams? Yeah the ideas a little corny but sometimes, its the things we know and love that make the best story. I found her character easier to connect to and more relateable. Sometimes it can be a little difficult to empathise with a young prince who has just lost both his parents and is heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary, but a young girl whose dreams of flying are squished my society? That's a little more real.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Alek and his story. Sometimes you need something completely separate to your one circumstances to get you through the day. However, this time round, I needed something a little closer to home and for me, that just happened to be Deryn.

I really, really, really enjoyed the whole Science Vs Nature argument throughout this book and over all it made me think, is there such a big difference between the two? The Natural world is made up of chemical reactions and scientific equations, and surly it is only natural that we should want to invent and build things to make us more powerful and efficient at humans? Yes this is a YA (young adult) book, but maybe its more than that... Maybe its a simple commentary on the similarities of nature and science and the two put together. After all is it not the two sides coming together in the end that makes them more powerful than the enemy and enables them to escape?

I think the only thing I have left to say is that I've ordered the next two books in the series from the library and I can't wait till they arrive. This is definitely a book I would recommend to any reader of any age. And adults, please don't dismiss a book just because its in the Young Adult section! Read everything!!

TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES - By Thomas Hardy (PHASE THE SIXTH)

I think the author here, is just plainly on a mission to make his readers angry, an I must say that if this was indeed his main goal for this book, then Hardy has most definitely succeeded! I never want to see Alec d'Urberville again.

This phase of the book, really does give a clear account of the social views of the time period. We know they are given throughout the entire book, but they are especially clear in this phases. Particularly towards the end when we discover that the Durbeyfield family may have had a home for the near future, on a weekly tenancy had it not been for Tess and the way that she is viewed due to her misfortune. This also makes me really angry... but lets be honest here... the entire book makes me so angry it's unbelievable! Angry in a good way though, angry in a good way.

THE CONVERT. That is the title of this phase and develops numerous possible plot lines prior to reading this; Does Clare finally change his mind about Tess? Do Tess's parents stop believing the stories about their heritage? What of Alec, does he finally stop stalking Tess?
The thought of Alec finding religion is the last thing that you would ever imagine being the base of this huge part of the story. Initially I felt like I was being forced to like him and forced to forgive him as if someone makes a commitment of faith then there is nothing that can be said against it, it is what it is and you can't do anything about it. However, when Alec says 'I have done nothing', you know that his 'conversion' is nothing but a facade which he cannot keep up once he meets Tess for a second time. The basis of converting to faith and Christianity is realising you have done something wrong and repenting of it, turning from ever doing it again, however, Alec does not recognise that he has something to repent of and therefore cannot repent of something he doesn't believe was ever wrong. Is it bad that I was pleased when I found out that I didn't have to like him?

I got so excited on both occasions when Tess deliberately hurt Alec, particularly in the first instance where she slaps him with her leather glove and makes his lip bleed. I almost jumped for joy when I read that bit and I was overwhelmed by the fact that Tess had finally decided to physically and properly stand up for herself instead of making a half-hearted, womanly effort. However, my immediate after thought was 'is this too little, too late?' If only she had done something like that back with those blasted strawberries, things may never have turned out so negatively... or they could have been worse, you never know.

Discussing Tess's return home brought to light more interpretations of this section than we originally thought possible. My fellow, student seemed to think that the branch waving in front of the window, making it blink (Chapter 50) was there to add a momentary relief for the reader as we see Tess finally returning home to where she belongs. They thought that it was a good thing. However, I was of the opinion that this wasn't as positive as everyone else thought. The 'winking' light at the window of their cottage reminded be of a candle flame flicking just before it goes out. I took this to be a foreshadowing of the family having to leave home, as if Tess is returning home just as the last flame of life is flickering from the place that they call home. Multiple interpretations, you gotta love 'em!

So, we've only got one phases left to go, and from the spoilers my classmates have left me with, this isn't going to be pretty, but I'm sure we can get though this together. See you there :)

TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES By Thomas Hardy - PHASE THE FIFTH

Well I must say that I think I was definitely correct in my prediction of this phase. In my last Tess post I suggested that this would be an action packed out-working of the previous phase and boy was I right!

Can I just say that if I didn't hate Angel Clare before, I most certainly do now. I'm sorry Mr Hardy... but how can you write a book where you hate all the characters, but love the book? It just doesn't seem possible. The whole incident with Brazil made me furious to the point of wanting to put the book down.

One thing that I did find very interesting was the way that Hardy reintroduces a number of different characters from earlier on in the book. These include Alec, Izz, Marian, Farmer Groby and a few other minor characters. All of these have an expected, individual effect on Tess, but what I'm most interested in is the collective result they have on Tess and the future that she was trying to write for herself. All these people are from Tess's past and we know that, in going to Talbothoy's and marrying Clare, she decided to move on and make an effort to change the future society had set for her. The re appearance of these characters makes it seem as though fate is purposely forceing Tess to relive her past and not move on into the future. I think this is Hardy showing us just how important the judgements of society can be.

I think I've made my main points about this section of the book, but as it getting closer to the end of the book; only two phases left, its getting increasingly difficult to talk about the book without giving spoilers.

Sorry it's a short one. x

SKY RUN By Alex Shearer

After reading The Cloud Hunters by the same author, I assumed that this was the sequel. However I was wrong. Sky Run is a completely separate novel which is merely based in the same world as the other. When I found this out, I was a little dubious about reading it and I was afraid that I wasn't going to enjoy it was much as the first book I had read, set in this wonderful world. I was worried that I was going to miss the characters I had come to know and love in The Cloud Hunters and still have to battle through the same world without them.

However I have really enjoyed this book. I cannot say that I enjoyed it more or less than the last one as they were totally different story lines and ideas. However I did really like the homage to the other book, when Alain talks about meeting the other Cloud Hunter boat which was carrying the boy without the scars and he talks briefly about his feelings concerning the event.

Although the two books can be read totally independent of each other, I would recommend reading the two together as they really do enlighten you about the world and the situations that the characters are living in. Each book gives you extra background information about the other book which, although you wouldn't miss it as such, you certainly would benefit from reading.

I must say that for some reason I found this story less repetitive than Shearer's other sky themed novel. I found it easier to read without becoming confused or lost in the same words over and over again.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who has read The Cloud Hunters and equally I would recommend it to anyone who hasn't. I have reviewed The Cloud Hunters  previously. Click here to see what I had to say about it.

THE CLOUD HUNTERS By Alex Shearer

I picked this book up for no other reason than I was browsing through the library looking for something to read, and this particular caught my eye and looked interesting. Once again, I have not been disappointed.

I think that the ideas and the storyline behind this book is really original and new. I, myself , haven't come across anything like this before. I like the idea of taking something really well known, Like sailing on a ship to find out who you are and what your destiny is, and putting it into a completely different scenario. Personally I find the idea of living on a small island as part of a bigger community quite appealing. Being able to have independence and isolation when you need it while at the same time, not being too far away from the life and business of everyday life.

There is only one criticism I have for the book and this is I found some of the names a little repetitive. I feel that there may have been possible alternatives to 'sky-fish', 'sky-whale', 'sky-seal', 'sky-walrus' etc... It just felt a little too repetitive for my liking and I sometimes lost my train of thought and definition between the items talked about.

Other than that though, I though that The Cloud Hunters was a thoroughly enjoyable book.

TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES By Thomas Hardy - PHASE THE SECOND

Despite Phase the Second being the shortest of the seven sections of this book an awful lot happens to our protagonist. She returns home, we find out she's pregnant, she has the child, the child dies, she tries to find work, and she makes an attempt to try and fit back into society.

I think the reason that Hardy squishes all of this into four, relatively short chapters, is because he wants us to understand the way Tess is feeling. Tess doesn't want to dwell on this section of her life, and Hardy doesn't want us to either. He wants us to move on with Tess and realise that such a small section of her life, should not have such a massive impact on her future. This would have been particularly important to the audience Hardy was writing for, as he would have been writing for people who would have hated and loathed Tess for the situation she had supposedly gotten herself into. He wants them to move on as well and follow his and Tess's lead. I feel that Hardy is trying to convince us that purity (he describes Tess as: a pure woman) goes beyond the physical and is more importantly about the heart and the mind.

I found this section of the text rather difficult to plough through if I'm honest, but I feel this is because of the lack of speech and the greatness of all the details Hardy writes into the text. Both of these things, although making it a little hardy for the reader, play an important role in helping us to understand the character.

The lack of verbal communications with other characters helps us to begin to understand how lonely and isolated Tess is feeling. There is no one she feels she can talk to and no one seemingly willing to comfort her and treat her normally. This leads onto the effect of the masses of description. Because Tess is so lonely and isolated, she has more time to ponder on things and to pick at the fine detail in her life that she may not have noticed otherwise. We get to see deeper into Tess's perspective, while at the same time, getting a clear sense of setting and context.

I've found this phase and interesting one to read, if slightly slow. Nevertheless, I shall be looking forward to seeing what Phase the Third has to offer.

THE HIT By Melvin Burgess

I must say, this has been a really enjoyable and interesting book to read. There are so many different themes and ideas packed into this book and yet it doesn't seem complicated or over crowded in anyway shape or form. I love it! Then again, I'm all for any book that has some sort of moral, especially one that makes you think about, and appreciate it more than you do already. There were a number of times while reading this book when I genuinely found myself thinking about what would be on my bucket list if I found myself under the influence of Death, or equally I might have found myself wondering whether or not I would have chosen to take it.

I think it was quite brave of the author to take on a topic like drugs and gang violence, because these are covered a lot in novels now-a-days and it can be difficult to write about it in a way that makes your story stand out from the others. But I'm am pleased to say that I think Burgess has done an incredible job and has definitely written a novel which tackles common but important themes while making it stand apart from everything else at the same time.

A brilliant book and one that I would definitely recommend, I'm looking forward to reading some of Burgess's other work.

THE RAW SHARK TEXTS By Steven Hall

First things first, I think that the idea and the potential behind this book is amazing. I am all for people writing about mental health and the extreme effects it can have on people. Although when I  initially read the blurb I didn't get that it was about someone suffering extreme memory loss, I was expecting it to have more of a Left-4-Dead kind of feel to it. I was really excited to read it and out of the three I borrowed from the library, this one was at the top of the list to read, however I am a little sad to say that I sincerely doubt I will finish it.

Although the story, ideas and characters are all really, really good, I found it a little difficult and heavy to read, slightly tough to push through, and the when I put the book down, I didn't quite feel drawn back to read it again and I have found myself going more than a week without even thinking about picking it back up again.

Though the biggest sign for me is the fact I have gotten to chapter five and I'm still not entirely sure why I'm continuing to read it.

Now as I always say, just because I didn't finish the book this time, doesn't mean I wont come back to it and try reading it again. Circumstances in life change and what is easy to read at one point in our life may be difficult to read three, four years down the line. Never write a book off first time, try it at least twice before you decide you don't like it. Times and opinions change and there are a lot of really fantastic ideas going on in this book.

I know plenty of people that would enjoy this book, however, at the moment, I just don't think this is the book for me.

NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR By George Orwell

Nineteen Eighty-Four has been on my 'Must Read' list ever since I started my English Literature course back in September of last year, and as much as I enjoyed the book (and I did!!!) it wasn't quite what I was expecting from the novel. If you have already read the book, then you will know that it is incredibly political and in some ways, I wish I had read the book before taking Politics As Level as this only enhanced my understandings of the events that were taking place and made them all the more frightening. 

When I first came across The Party's main three-part slogan at the start of the book, I found it difficult  to see how there could be any sense in the idea that war and peace are the same thing and that there is little and no difference between freedom and slavery. The idea that one is never truly free because real freedom means to be on your own and not having anyone to be accountable to or for, however paradoxically, being on your own does not mean being free at all because you are responsible for maintaining your freedom and therefore are a slave to yourself and your right to freedom. As the books progresses and these things are put into context, it makes you realise just how real and accurate these slogans actually are.

Although the plots and ideologies in the book are incredibly exaggerated, if you look close enough you can see elements of things in the book, reflected in our own society, - countries becoming and battling to become superstates, society coving up information that makes them look bad, not quite physically changing history, but in my mind they're not far off.

Initially I loved Winston's character, I thought he was brilliant and should be supported in his efforts to over throw the party, but I found myself definitely growing hard towards him and his attitudes as it became apparent of his 'fight-fire-with-fire' attitude. He complained and was repulsed by The Party's lack of morality and human nature, however he was willing to throw acid into a child's face, to lie and  murder just to get back at the party. Wasn't it the lies and the murdering of innocent lives that he was angry about? So why would acting the same way show that he was any better than them which is the conclusion that Winston comes to near the end of the novel. That his is better than them and more moral and more human. Personally, I think he is just as bad as the party, the only difference is that he is fighting for something different. I have to admit that in the final part, I felt little in the way of pain and pity towards Winston, and even found myself asking him to be sent to a forced labour camp.

One thing that Orwell has done very well indeed, is to help you empathise with the characters. As a reader, one of the first things I do in a book is develop my relationships with the characters, however right from the word go I was reluctant to connect with anyone and was wary of anything. I wanted to believe that I liked O'Brien's character until the end but something about the way Orwell wrote made me hold back and think 'yes but...'. I found myself detaching myself from Julia and getting as far away as I could because I didn't know if I could trust her. Even Winston who is the protagonist, the person we are supposed to love and support in any other novel, here you just want to keep an eye on him. I was very worried through most of the novel that he was going to do something that even the reader couldn't forgive him for it. 

Nineteen Eighty-Four is a brilliant book and one I am so glad to have read. I was genuinely surprised at how easy it was to read. The pages kept turning and I kept on reading. The hardest part of the book to read was the segment from THE BOOK and even then, it never became unenjoyable. The whole thing has been a fascinating and incredibly thoughtful journey. I know this was Orwell's final novel, but it has left me wanting to back-track and pickup Animal Farm as soon as I get the chance.

FOR SYDNEY BECHET (Poem) By Philip Larkin

For Sydney Bechet is a poem written by Larkin in tribute to one of his favourite jazz musicians; Sydney Bechet. Not only was Larkin a poet and a librarian, but he was also a jazz critic, writing numerous reviews for The Telegraph. Many of Larkin's poems suggest that his love of music was far greater than his love for women, in essence this is one of the most emotive love poems Larkin ever wrote, only this one wasn't for the ladies.

This love and adoration for music is played out beautifully at the end of stanza three/beginning of stanza four where he describes mainly the performing women and the atmosphere of the jazz clubs as 'priced far above rubies'. Here Larkin shows a hint at some biblical knowledge, as this is a quote from the Bible: Proverbs 31:10 says this - 'Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies' (KJV). Only here, in the context of Larkin's poem, he has personified the music and believes that the music is the one with the value greater than rubies. Also by using the scripture reference, the poet suggests that the relationship he has with music may not just be earthly. It could suggest that the love goes beyond that into dedication to and worshipping music. Music is the thing that keeps him going and keeps him alive.

'On me your voice falls as they say love should'. It is clear that here, the persona/Larkin is getting from music, the same thing that everyone else is getting from love. His security, his energy, his reason to live does not come from the love of a woman, or a wife or partner like everyone else. Music is the lover who keeps making sure he gets out of bed in the morning, keeps him working and enjoying the life that he has been given. In fact, not only does the music give him these things, but it also scatters 'long-haired grief and scored pity'. It takes away the pain and fills the hole with something good and whole. Throughout the entire poem, Larkin's lexicon is that of love and adoration, with the use of words such as 'natural', 'legendary', 'reflected'. Not only do most of these words suggest the complete and utter all embracing passion he has for music, but many of them are words which have strong connotations of the natural world, which would suggest that the Persona's relationship with music is not forced like some child who was strapped to the piano stool and forced to play from as soon as he has enough strength to hit the keys. This love is natural and organic, it grows and changes with the music. Just as jazz musicians are encouraged to improvise, so is there nothing rigid or definite about the relationship. There are no right or wrongs. It flows in a way that only real love can do.

It amuses me slightly that Jazz music allows him to be himself, but at the same time allows him to be whoever he wants to be. He talks about people who 'pretend their fads' and 'scholars manques'. People who are not in fact scholars but in the presence of the music, they can be whoever they dream of being. The example used in the poem is of regular workers being able to imagine and believe they are rich, intelligent scholar for just a sweet, short while.

This is the first poem I have studied where Larkin is not clearly set on being alone and in solitude. It is the exact opposite of silence and loneliness which is what you will usually find Larkin's other works flooded with. In this poem, Larkin writes multiple times in the second person, directly addressing the music as if it were a person 'that note you hold', 'you're voice'. He speaks kindly to the music and welcomes it into his personal space. A complete and utter reversal of Larkin's attitude in his other work.

WILD OATS (Poem) By Philip Larkin

In the scheme of things, Wild Oats is a poem quite different to the other poems that I have studied by Philip Larkin. This is one of the few poem where he talks directly about relationships with women.

As usual, Larkin begins with a very descriptive beginning: 'About twenty years ago / Two girls came in where I worked - " It really doesn't get more descriptive or more narrative than that. The entire poem is particularly descriptive through out, riddled with extra thoughts and metaphors, unlike Larkin's other poems which are usually well structured and follow a strict pattern of: description, thoughts and then ultimately revelation/epiphany.

In many ways, Wild Oats is an incredibly cheesy love story, where the persona end up dating second best, not actually getting the one that he wants. in the second stanza, the persona reveals the reason why he ended up with 'her friend in specs' rather than his 'bosomy English rose'. He only ever met with her, and took her out on a date twice, both of which, he was left with the impression that she was trying not to laugh at him.  This appears to have been the catalyst that sent him into developing the resignation that we see at the end. All in all, one can only conclude that he decided to date the woman in glasses because it was as good as he was ever going to get. Maybe he thought that if he couldn't begin a relationship with the woman he really genuinely loved then, by dating her friend, then he could at least spend time with her; a possible shot in the dark, another attempt to get closer to what he wanted.

On thought that comes to me is the saying 'Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all', and the impression I am getting from this poem in particular, is that Larkin/the persona's ideas about romance, are about as far from this as you can get. He would rather learn from it and, never date a woman again rather than have to go through the embarrassment, and disappointment of being laughed at and not quite getting it right. In the last stanza, the persona's resignation to the entire affair becomes apparent. Talking about how the whole event of this affair and the things it taught him were 'useful to get ... learnt', and 'that I was too selfish, withdrawn'.

I think the biggest revelation that the persona has at the end of this poem is not actually about realising that he will never get the woman he wants, although this is something that definitely crosses his mind. The real revelation is that he is 'easily bored to love'. In fact he is not overly wanting of human love or relationships, but rather he is happier with his love of music, thinking and writing. They are the things that he really loves, not women at all. I think that this is not a poem about relationships and romance, I think it is far more likely that this is a poem about the persona realising his true loves in life.

SELF'S THE MAN (Poem) By Philip Larkin

Just like Dockery and Son, as well as a number of Larkin's other poems, Self's the man is another poem about life choices and family.

This poem is very similar to Larkin's other poems in the fact that throughout the course of the poem, the persona's emotions and feelings change and eventually he has an epiphany at the end of the poem. He starts off with what seems almost like admiration for Arnold, the way he has made something of his life and how he has coped with marriage so well, however this soon changes, subtly in the third stanza where the persona almost sound sorry for Arnold, as if he got the short straw, the bad end of the stick. The final change in emotion at the end of the poem is really obvious, when he physically says: 'but wait, not do fast:'

The poem begins very suddenly, almost as if in answer to a question or a statement that had been said of him just before the poem started. You can just imagine someone turning round to the persona and telling him that he is really selfish and why couldn't he be more like Arnold (the other person in the poem), and then him turning round and almost shouting: 'Oh, no one can deny / That Arnold is less selfish than I', in response to the people.

The only thing that really changes in the first five stanzas is the tone of the persona's voice, as the more he describes Arnold's life, the more he feels sorry for him and the more he begins to think that he got a better deal than Arnold. However once we reach stanza six, things change quite dramatically and things really do begin to get interesting. The persona changes his mind about Arnold's decision to get married and begins to try and convince us that there is no real difference between the two men, and that Arnold is not 'less selfish than I', but in fact he is just as selfish, if not more so.

The argument that the persona bases this theory on, is that Arnold wanted to get married, he wasn't forced into it, he didn't sacrifice anything to get married. He wanted a wife and children and therefore marriage is the most selfish thing Arnold could have done because it is what HE WANTED TO DO. Arnold 'still did it for his own sake.'

The persona comes to the conclusion that there is no reason for him being called selfish, or more selfish than Arnold, because just as he avoided marriage for himself and his own reason, so did Arnold get married and start a family. 'So he and I are the same'.

Ultimately, I think that what Larkin is trying to say here, is that no matter how hard we try to be selfless, when it comes to life choices 99% of the time, we will be selfish and make a choice in terms of how we want our live to turn out. Even if you want to live it for someone else's benefit, its still what you want to do with it... it still selfish, and we can't help it.

AMBULANCES (Poem) By Philip Larkin

At first glance, Ambulances seems to be a poem very different to Larkin's other works, however once you get into the actual words of the poem and the meanings behind these words, it becomes quite clear that this poem follows the same themes and thoughts as most of Larkin's other poems. I also found this poem a little odd at first as the only people who really tend to talk about ambulances are young children.  But of course, by now, we know that Larkin is one for talking about the taboo subjects and bringing up the tender topics of conversation.

Right from the opening phrase, 'closed like confessionals' we are being fed a different view of Ambulances and what their purpose is in our society. I think that this phrase really opens the poem well by stressing the importance of ambulances. The first parallel I made between ambulances and confessionals is that they both carry someone who is believed to be able to save you, in an ambulance, you find a paramedic who will try and offer physical salvation. They will try their hardest to save you from whatever ailment or injury you are suffering with, they will not stop until they are sure you are safe. Equally, in a confessional, you will find a priest, whom catholics believe can forgive you of your sins and offer you spiritual salvation. Both of these 'boxes' are places where life is tried to be saved and death, whether it be spiritual or physical, is push away and stopped before it claims the person seeking help.

I also really like the metaphor of the thread that Larkin uses to describe how the ambulance works. I think that this can be taken in two different ways. The first being that Larkin is referring to the idea of someone's life 'hanging by a thread'. The thought of being on the very edge of death and needing an ambulance to stop death from claiming you. This idea is also continued later on in the poem when he talks about the ties of life beginning to loosen, this idea fascinates me and I'll come onto that shortly. The second way that this 'thread' metaphor can be taken is much more positive and makes for an overall, more pleasant read of this dim poem. I think that the idea of the ambulance as it 'thread / loud noons of cities', is saying that slowly but surely, ambulances weave and 'thread' their way through the cities, stitching it back together and making things better for the people that live there. Sewing up to wounds in the towns and cities and fixing society. Personally, I like to think of the second one myself, however this is Larkin and this is one of his ambiguous thoughts that he leave to us to decide what we'll make of it.

Finally for the first stanza, the last line of the stanza is very real and I think what Larkin/Larkin's persona is trying to tell us is that as 'all streets in time are visited' by and ambulance, so do death come to us all, no matter how hard we try to avoid it.

After this first stanza, we move into the middle section of the poem which focuses of looking at the lives of the ordinary people in the city who are having to witness the ambulance and its works, and how they are reacting to this. The description of the 'children strewn on the steps or road' suggests that they have been affected by this as much as the patient. Once the ambulance drives away, they are thrown back into their everyday lives, trying not to remember the tram they have just witnessed. Even if it is somebody you do not know, seeing someone so ill they have to call for an ambulance is bound to leave an impression. The trauma of the incident is 'strewn' across the surrounding streets and the people with it.

Larkin talks about 'women coming from the shops' and this just reminds be of the natural instinct that humans have, we are drawn to drama. If something unusual or exciting happens, we want to be there and be a part of it. Naturally we want to see things for ourselves and not settle for a secondhand account of what happened. But then this liveliness of the people and the energy they show in wanting to see whats going on is juxtaposed with a 'wild white face'. White or pale faces are usually associated with people who are ill and/or have died. Is this the 'wild white face' of the person being treated, or is it the face/s of the people watching, being saddened and shocked by what they are seeing.

Someone I know suggested that 'the red stretcher-blankets' could represent the red carpet laid out for someone special. Almost like the ambulance is welcoming in each and every patient as a unique and special individual who needs tailored treatment, and in someways i feel that this welcomes us into the back of the ambulance with the patient. The last three stanzas of the poem are really quite ambiguous. They could be interpreted as a description of either the patient or the onlookers, however personally, I feel that at this point the narrative and the persona have travelled into the back of the ambulance with the paramedics and the patient and has moved onto the thoughts and the effect of what is happening to the patient themselves.

'A sense of the solving emptiness'. To solve something, is to find an answer to it. I think that here Larkin is revealing to us what death is. Its a solution, and answer to all of lives problems. For here onwards, death becomes a very clear and obvious thought in the persona's mind. Especially when Larkin writes; 'the unique random blend / Of families and fashions, there / At last begin to loosen'. This links into the point I made earlier about life hanging by a thread. When you get right to the point when your life hangs in the balance and you are inches from death, all that ties you to this life becomes of little values to you and those ties 'at last begin to loosen' you come to the point of realising that you have reached that 'sense of solving emptiness'. Family, friends, pets, memories, hobbies; none of that matters anymore because you have finally reached the ultimate answer to all of life's problems and sufferings: Death.

So as I said at the beginning, Ambulances seems a very different poem to what we are used to for Larkin, but once you get past the choice of topic, you can see that this is indeed a very deeply thoughtful and philosophical poem, just like all of his others.